


Misguided Ghosts

by kyotoma



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Angst, Happy Ending, Multi, Post Overwatch recall, Probably some angst at some point, Slow Burn, cyberninja hanzo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-11-09 13:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11105445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyotoma/pseuds/kyotoma
Summary: AU where Hanzo didn't just destroy Genji, they destroyed each other. Genji found refuge at Overwatch and Hanzo was left to be rebuilt by the Shimada clan. He eventually leaves and drifts until Genji invites him to join the infamous Overwatch. He feels very lonely until a certain cowboy makes it his life mission to make the sadman™ smile





	1. We all learn to make mistakes and run from them with no direction

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys so this is my first fic in a while and i hope you guys enjoy!!! i've spent all day writing instead of studying for my exam tomorrow ooops

Hanzo stood over his brother, the other man lying in a pool of his own blood on the floor beneath him. He knew Genji was still alive from the shallow, labouring breaths he was fighting to take in. Hanzo took his own deep breath in...and waited. He raised the sword above Genji's head and then dropped it again, an internal war raging inside him. 

They had told him he would feeling nothing but pride in this moment. He was doing this for his family, to keep their name pure and good. This was his duty, he had to maintain order, to keep the honour of his family's name. 

Only, at this exact moment, Hanzo was beginning to wonder if there was any honour left in their family at all. He did not feel pride or happiness at all...in fact, he didn’t feel anything. 

He keeled over, letting the sword fall to the floor loudly in favour of gripping his knees with his hands and dry heaving. He felt nothing at all. 

He let this feeling wash over him as his breathing became ragged and pained. 

He was about to kill his own brother and he felt nothing at all. 

What kind of monster was he? 

He dropped to his knees beside his brother's barely living body. 

"Genji..." He grabbed the other man's hand, his own palms becoming slick from the blood. With a painful gasp, the other man lifted his other hand and Hanzo reached out. 

 

That was when he heard it, it was quiet and the voice so broken and full of pain, he almost didn’t think it to be Genji at all, "Ryūjin no ken wo kurae," 

Hanzo reacted too slowly, he should have jumped into action, should have grabbed his sword. But he didn’t. He stayed put and once again, he waited. 

He heard a blade that was not his own as it sliced through air and the roar of the dragon as it came to life. He felt the air prickle with electricity as the dragon's presence filled it and he braced himself for death. 

 

He felt nothing as everything went dark. 

 

When Hanzo woke up, he was wet. He felt droplets as they ran down his arms and neck and legs and splashed to the floor. Remembering the rain outside as he had fought with Genji, he realised he must have been caught in the downpour. 

 

He tried to sit up but there was something holding him down, restraining him across his chest. He opened his eyes slowly, immediately slamming them shut again at the bright lights above him. The world around him slowly came into focus as he heard the tearing of fabric and his kyudo-gi ripped off him. He knew there were people surrounding him, a lot of them, all speaking frantic Japanese over the top of each other but he couldn’t make a single word out. 

 

Wait, no. Genji, he heard the word Genji. 

 

He opened his eyes fully this time, ignoring the pain of the bright lights to look at the faces surrounding him. Each person wore a surgical mask covering their mouths, but he could identify them regardless. He recognised them as his family's doctors, the doctors whose sole purpose was to attend to the Shimada's when they were in need, even if it was as simple as the time Genji cut his knee playing with a sword when he was much too young to understand the responsibility he would one day take on holding that exact sword. 

That made sense, they must have been attending to Genji, Hanzo thought to himself. 

 

Looking down at himself, he realised that was not the case as the liquid he had felt on himself had not been rainwater but was in fact blood and it covered almost every visible part of him. Surely, it could not all be his own...but that meant...Genji. 

 

" _Genji? Where is Genji?_ " His voice cracked as he tried to speak, immediately embarrassed at letting the emotion seep into his voice. 

The room fell silent as each doctor looked to one another, no one wanting to answer his question or even meet his gaze. 

" _Your brother is dead, you killed him._ " His father's voice emerged from the door before he did, cold and uncaring, " _Well done Hanzo, you have restored the honour to our family. You were injured in the fight, you must have surgery now. Good luck my son, we will talk after._ " 

Hanzo's attempt to say something was cut off as someone placed a mask over his face and slowly, the dark surrounded him again. 

***

Hanzo woke up panting, nearly headbutting the seat in front of him as he sat up too fast, forgetting where he was. He sighed and looked around the almost empty plane, at least no one had seemed to notice his outburst. 

He was used to the nightmares, he watched Genji lie in a pool of his own blood on an almost nightly basis but this time he had dreamt of the aftermath too, his father telling him of Genji's death and it had left him even more on edge than usual. 

But that had been ten years ago. Everything had changed since then. 

It had turned out that Genji's dragon had done a great deal of damage to Hanzo and Hanzo had to have almost half his body replaced. 

The only real part he had left of his torso was the top of his left arm. Apart from that and his neck upwards, he was mostly machinery, on the outside anyway. Metal separated flesh and machinery from the bottom of the right side of his neck right across to above his left hip. He still had most of his legs, from the hips down to just below his knees where smooth silver metal completed the rest of his legs. The prosthetics were actually pretty useful, being fused together biosynthetically, not just made from metal, they did not only make him quieter but also absorbed shock, allowing him to drop greater distances than before. 

But apart from his legs, the rest of him was a mess. Where before he had been toned and fit, now he simply looked like an omnic experiment gone wrong. 

He could no longer wear his beloved kyudo-gi's, not wanting a reminder of the mess he was and the things he had done.

Instead, his go to now consisted of a smooth metal chest plate, one flesh arm and one metal arm at either side. The metal arm, once displaying his intricate dragon tattoo now consisted of metal, the design of the dragon, however, not unlike before. Unlike before, when his emotions ran high and the dragon writhed visibly on his skin, they sat motionless now, regardless of how Hanzo felt. Almost a metaphor for how much he had lost. 

The dragons still wrapped around his arm, orange lying against the contrasting silver of the rest of his arm and body. On the other side, his flesh bicep met a prosthetic from the elbow down, also orange to the wrist where a slim silver hand protruded. He wore simple greyish-green trousers now, tucked into the silver prosthetics on his legs. 

The one best feature about his new look was the face plate that had been designed for him. It was greyish green, coming up over his ears and then connecting to his chest plate. The face plate was simply an aesthetic choice. 

The plates covering his ears worked to filter noises out for him, could be locked onto a single target to pick up as much as their heart beat while also covering the bottom half of his face so he could not be recognised. He felt naked without it now, on a plane where anyone could recognise him with no escape. 

The face plate came in especially useful after Hanzo left the Shimada clan, placing himself on their bad side and becoming their number one target. As his father had said, they had saved his life after all and he had still disobeyed the clan by trying to leave. It also helped with the simple mercenary work he found himself falling into after leaving, having no other use for his lifelong archery training than to become one of the world's top assassins for whoever was willing to pay the most. But things were different now. 

Almost a month ago, while paying his respect to Genji at the Shimada castle, he had felt the assassin following him. At first he had thought it to be an omnic but realised soon that it was unlike any omnic he had ever seen, it was almost human, and humanity was one thing the omnics could never fully capture. The assassin had later revealed himself to be Genji. A new Genji, also rebuilt after the fight that had nearly ended both of their lives. He told Hanzo of his forgiveness for the things Hanzo had done. 

Hanzo had lashed out, wanting to put an arrow in Genji for saying the nicest words Hanzo had heard in almost ten years, that someone still believed there was hope for him. 

Genji had appeared again a few days later, offering a formal invite to join Overwatch and not waiting for a reply before vanishing again. So Hanzo had been left alone once again, with a heavy heart and nowhere to go, except the address of a watchpoint almost 13 hours across the world and the promise of forgiveness. It had taken him almost a month to decide. How could he really be sure Genji had forgiven him? What if it was all a trap to get revenge? And even if it was, was this not what Hanzo had wished for all these years? That even if it was all a trap and Genji wanted to kill Hanzo, would the death he had wanted for 10 years finally release him? He knew there was only one way to find out. 

Which is why, a month later, he found himself on a 13-hour flight to Gibraltar to see if he really could find forgiveness. Not just from Genji, but also from himself. 

As the plane neared their destination, Hanzo felt his nerves build. He knew he was going to regret his decision to go, surely a place like Overwatch wouldn’t want a killer like him to join. Everyone there was going to know what he'd done, after all, they were the people who had rebuilt Genji almost ten whole years ago. Not just physically but also mentally. He had seemed almost peaceful when he had visited Hanzo, like he had found some way to truly move past everything. 

At that thought, a pang of jealousy jolted Hanzo. Genji had left Hanzo in the same state Hanzo had left him. So why did he get to be the one to find peace while Hanzo was left to rot with the Shimada clan? 

Hanzo knew why really, he knew he was being foolish to even consider such a question. Genji had been defending himself. 

He wasn’t the one who turned on his only brother just because their father had said to. 

Yet, Hanzo couldn’t help but feel a heavy wave of bitterness settle in his chest at the thought of all the friends Genji had surely made at Overwatch. He had spent the last ten years alone and bitter. Anytime anybody had gotten too close, he pushed them away. He wasn’t going to allow himself to hurt anyone ever again. 

A few hours later, Hanzo found himself walking the narrow dusty road up to the watchpoint. The watchpoint lay on top of the only mountain in Gibraltar. As if that wasn’t obvious, he thought to himself as he hiked, his prosthetic legs making his journey easy work. 

After an hours walk, he stopped outside the looming gates, a giant Overwatch symbol glaring back at him. Weren't these people meant to be discreet? He thought, looking past the gates to see various buildings also marked with the Overwatch symbol. He heard more than saw the figure climb up the wall, landing gracefully on one of the pillars holding the enormous gates. His chest tightened at the site of his brother, not quite used to seeing him alive after all these years. His father's words echoed in his head " _You killed him,_ " 

"Brother?" Genji's voice drew him from his memories and he waved lamely, not quite sure what to say. 

Hanzo looked at the gate before him, wondering if it was going to open or if this was their way of rejecting him already. 

"Can you still scale a wall or must I make Athena open the gates for you in your old age?" Hanzo knew Genji was attempting to joke with him, not wanting to say all the things he could have. Hanzo knew by the genuine happiness and surprise on his face, somehow displayed by his visor, he was glad Hanzo had come. And strangely, Hanzo knew he was too. 

He did not say, 'I'm sorry' or 'I'm glad I'm here' or even 'I've missed you' like he wanted to. 

Instead, he said, "I'm sure I can still scale this wall faster than you," and heaved his duffle bag over his metallic shoulder to join Genji at the top. 

When they both stood atop the pillar, Genji reached out a hand slowly. Hanzo tensed but accepted the handshake after a moment. 

"Okaerinasai, Aniki," _Welcome home brother._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this isnt as lame and predictable as i think it is, kudos & comments always appreciated!! sorry for any mistakes, i checked like 4 times but im trash so theres probably some, thank you for reading!!! love u guys xxx


	2. You can take your time, take my time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo meets the team and the cowman returns from a mission to a new recruit at the base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man you guys are all great, this got a lot more hits than i was expecting so im super nervous posting this chapter but here it is!! i hope you guys enjoy

Hanzo's first day at Overwatch had been uneventful. At first he had felt like the new kid at school and had been nervous to meet everyone. He had been shown straight to his room by Genji, where he stayed for the rest of the night. He had stood on top of the gate with Genji for a lot longer than they had both realised and the sun had long set by the time he reached his new room. The base had seemed abandoned on their walk to Hanzo's room, which had worked in his favour as he grimaced the thought of meeting anyone new just yet. 

The way Genji had called Hanzo his brother with such pride when he had arrived almost made Hanzo believe there really was a chance for him and Genji and by the end of his first day, after a very short catch up conversation with his brother, he went to bed. The jet lag and travelling had caught up with him but, as he began to slip into a peaceful slumber, he realised it was without a sinking feeling in his chest for the first time in ten years, probably longer. 

Hanzo woke up to a woman's voice alerting him 'Agent Genji' was at his door. He dragged his eyes around the room before getting out of bed. 

At the minute, it was little more than an empty shell but it was the most Hanzo had to call his own in a long time. 

The room was bigger than he had expected, with stark white walls and a plush grey carpet lining the floor, it contained only a small single bed at one side of the room, a set of drawers beside the bed and a small black chest at the end of the bed. 

At the other side of the room, a door led into a small walk-in wardrobe and against the third wall was a computer desk and chair, a computer already waiting for him to set up. The final wall held a door into the en-suite bathroom and not much else. 

Hanzo had dumped his duffle bag in front of the wardrobe, not bothering to unpack anything apart from his sleepwear and balanced the case holding his storm bow and arrows against the empty wall, beside the door, just in case. 

From above him, the woman reminded him of Genji at his door and Hanzo crossed the room, entering his code into the keypad beside the door to open it. 

"You can just ask Athena to open it for you, brother," Genji smiled, his arms awkwardly carrying a bundle of cloth, entering the room as soon as Hanzo stepped back to let him in. 

"Athena?" Hanzo asked in confusion. 

"Yes, Hanzo?" The woman's voice rang from the speakers again as Hanzo connected the dots, feeling foolish. 

"Oh, um, never mind..." Hanzo added, slightly uneasy the AI knew his name already, to which he got no response. 

 

Genji set the bundle of cloth on the chest of drawers beside Hanzo's bed, unwrapping the cloth to reveal some things he had gathered. 

" _What is this _?" Hanzo slipped into his native language easily, gently pulling a small, familiar incense holder from the pile.__

" _I know how empty a room can feel when you first arrive...so I brought you some things you might like _,"__

" _Genji. Are these yours? I cannot take your things, _"__

" _They're your things actually, I took them from the castle when I was in Hanamura, in case you decided to come...I hope this does not upset you _," Genji turned to look at him from behind the visor, somehow showing the hope on his face.__

" _No...It does not upset me...thank you _," The last part came out as little more than a whisper but he hoped his gratitude came across anyway.__

"You're welcome, brother. _I am glad you are here. _Now, I will leave you to shower and then you can meet the rest of the team at breakfast." Genji switched back to English and Hanzo could almost hear the smile in Genji's voice as another wave of guilt flooded his chest.__

____

____

 

He had thought that coming here, he would be able to fix things with his brother, he had been sure of it. He had not taken into account that he was to be reminded of what he had done every time he looked at Genji. How was he to shoulder his burdens when he looked them in the eye, or rather visor, on a daily basis? 

He was going to have to find a way to move past it if he wanted to even begin making up for lost time. Which he did, more than anything. 

 

He showered quickly and dressed even quicker, Genji's words echoing in his mind. _I am glad you are here _.__

____

Hanzo sighed as he tied his slick hair back into a tight ponytail, becoming anxious to get the meet and greet over with. He looked around the now decorated room. 

Along with his old incense holder, still in great condition after ten years, Genji had supplied some new incense for him to burn.  
He had added the buckwheat pillow to his bed, the intricate cherry blossom design standing out almost painfully among the white sheets of his bed as he allowed himself to think about the comfort the pillow would bring him. 

It had been a long time since he had slept on one, nothing comparing to the wonders it did for his aching neck. He almost chuckled out loud at his own thoughts, realising how old he sounded. 

He looked to the scroll on his wall next, a detailed depiction of the famous Great Wave.

Yes, he could picture it now. 

A kotatsu table and some cushions would fit perfectly in the center of the room.  
Perhaps a hot plate in order to boil all the tea he could wish for, yes. It really could be something, he thought to himself. He could perhaps even picture himself living here. Not just squatting as he was so used to but actually _living _.  
He tried to picture it and for a moment he almost did. __

____

No, what was he thinking? This was not his home. He mentally reprimanded himself for allowing his thoughts to run away from him.

He didn't have a home. He never would.  
No matter how many times Genji offered, he could never take him up on it. It was foolish to think he so much as even deserved to be a guest here.  
_You are a fool _. The thought appeared in his mind as clear as day, as if his father had said it into his ear instead of in a distant memory.  
__

__Genji returned exactly fifteen minutes later as promised, pulling Hanzo from his spiral of dark thoughts with the promise of breakfast and led Hanzo down a series of winding corridors to a double door which Genji pointed to as the mess hall._ _

____

____

Behind the door, Hanzo could hear the jovial breakfast conversations amid laughs and the sound of clinking cutlery. 

He stopped. 

 

Genji was about to push open the door when he realised his brother had stopped behind him. 

"Brother?" Genji's voice was full of concern as he stopped too, sending another pang of guilt through Hanzo. "If you are not ready-" 

"No." Hanzo interrupted him, pushing the anxiety in his chest down, "I am. It's just...what if..." Hanzo struggled for the right words, not wanting to let his brother know how scared he was but coming up blank.  
"Brother. They will not hate you." Genji seemed to read Hanzo's mind, answering the unspoken question, "Because I do not hate you. And they know that. I have forgiven you and so they, too have forgiven you." 

Hanzo simply nodded at his brother, unable to find words to express the feelings in his chest or the hope that clung to his heart. 

 

Genji seemed to smile from under the visor and turned, pushing the door open this time. 

Inside, the mess hall was a large room filled with tables, at one side an open kitchen with shelves stacked high with breakfast foods. Among the food, he almost swore he saw bowls of rice, kobachi and nori. 

 

The room fell silent as Hanzo felt every head turn to look at them. He shifted uncomfortably underneath their gazes and let his eyes fall to the floor. Beside him, he felt Genji's cool metal hand settle on his flesh shoulder, cool and calming. 

"Everyone, this is my brother, Hanzo. He's decided to come and see life at Overwatch for a while...I would be very grateful if you were to make him feel comfortable here." Genji's voice startled Hanzo from beside him. 

The room stayed silent for another few seconds which felt like a lifetime to Hanzo and then suddenly warm, happy voices filled the room with things like 'Welcome!' And 'Good to have you!' And Hanzo felt some of the tension fall from his shoulders. 

 

In the kitchen area, Genji introduced him to an absolutely ginormous man named Reinhardt wearing a tiny pink apron, who apparently liked to cook. The stacked plates and bowls of food were his doing and he excitedly pointed to the Japanese dishes which he described with a very loud, booming voice were to 'make Hanzo feel more at home!'. Hanzo did not inform him that the last place on earth he wanted to be was home, but said thank you and accepted a plate of some anyway, actually enjoying a somewhat traditional Japanese breakfast. 

 

The hall was filled with about six large, long tables but everyone in the room fit at one, except a couple sitting at the farthest one, making the room look bigger than it was. 

He sat beside Genji on the end of the table and listened as he quickly introduced the others at the table. 

On Genji's other side sat a charming British woman, known as Lena. She chipped in with a 'lovely to have you on the team love!' And Hanzo bit his tongue to resist informing her he was not technically on the team and simply nodded a hello to her. 

Beside her sat a large robot named Bastion who did not need to eat but held a small bowl of what looked like sunflower seeds anyway. Bastion simply beeped at him a couple times and went back to feeding the small bird on his shoulder with handfulls of the seeds. 

Across from Hanzo sat a small plump girl named Mei who greeted him in Japanese which he appreciated. Genji informed Hanzo that she was from China but spoke both Chinese and Japanese and he relished this information, happy there was someone other than Genji to speak his native tongue to, if he ever chose to do so. 

Beside her sat a tank of a woman, topped off with a slick of bright pink hair which Hanzo mused at. She greeted him with a thick Russian accent and introduced herself as Zarya. 

Hanzo figured from the way he looked at and spoke to Mei that they were more than friends. On the other side of Zarya sat a small dwarf looking man named Torbjorn who introduced himself with a loud booming voice, shocking Hanzo as he was such a tiny man. 

At the end of the table sat a young man who introduced himself in almost a sing-song voice as Lucio, the sickest DJ he would ever meet. Hanzo almost smirked at this, thinking to himself about the slim chance of him ever meeting another DJ at all. 

Finally, at the head of the table sat a bona fide monkey, later drawing Hanzo's attention to the fact he was actually a gorilla, who made himself known as Winston, who was 'sort of in charge around here' and informed them they would arrange Hanzo's formal membership later. 

He was about to speak when Genji reminded Winston Hanzo had not yet decided to join and was simply here as his brother, for now, and Hanzo silently thanked the gods that Genji had said it, worrying it would have been rude if he had said it himself. 

Leaning in to drop his voice, Genji informed him the couple sitting at the table on their own were Angela and Fareeha and they were normally much more social but today they were having a moment. He also informed Hanzo of the few people not present. 

He told Hanzo of the former Vishkar architech, Satya who often ate in solitude and the other missing girl, Hana who had more than likely stayed up streaming all night so was sleeping now. 

Almost on cue, she skidded into the room in a pair of tiny pink shorts, long pink hoodie with a cartoon rabbit on it and rabbit slippers, yelling about how she better not have missed breakfast. The gaming headset on her head had informed Hanzo she probably had not been to sleep at all. 

When she spotted Hanzo, her cheeks turned a light shade of pink and she pulled her hoodie down, completely covering the tiny shorts. 

"You must be Hanzo!" She said skidding over to him and wrapping her arms around his neck to which he immediately tensed. Undeterred she squeezed a little tighter before letting go, "Welcome to the team!" 

She then loaded up a plate of food and skidded back out of the room, back to whatever game she was playing. 

The table turned to look at Hanzo now, completely introduced and he shifted uncomfortably under their gaze once more. 

"Um, I'm Hanzo, Genji's brother and um...I appreciate you opening your home to me..." Hanzo kept his voice cold and distant, not quite ready to open up to the room of strangers yet. He picked at his rice as he desperately searched for something to say. Right as he was about to give up and start mumbling god knows what, Athena saved the day with an announcement of the return of the current mission. 

Beside him, Genji stirred with excitement, a very new experience for Hanzo, witnessing the other man nearly bounce out of his seat. 

"They're back!" Genji stood up and with the slightest hesitation to see if Hanzo would follow, raced out of the mess hall. 

 

Hanzo rushed to follow his brother down the winding corridors out to the courtyard where a large air carrier was slowly easing onto the ground. There were a couple people behind Hanzo, apparently also wanting to greet the returning members. 

 

Outside, Hanzo hung back near the door to the dorms, not wanting to intrude on the welcome home part and only slightly reassured at noticing Genji checking to see that he had followed. 

 

The doors of the air carrier opened and Winston stepped forward to greet the members. The first one to step out was an older man, his face was covered with a visor, revealing only a forehead covered in a huge scar and a head of white hair. Hanzo knew exactly who this was; Soldier 76, also known as Jack Morrison. The former leader of Overwatch, back in its prime. Everyone born in the last century knew who Jack Morrison was. 

Hanzo had also done his research before he had come, wanting to know what was waiting for him. He knew Jack didn’t lead Overwatch now, meeting Winston had confirmed that. But he also hadn't expected Jack to be here at all. Hanzo knew he spent most of his time doing whatever the hell he wanted and only occasionally popping into overwatch for resources and to regroup. He figured now must be one of those times. 

 

Jack stepped to the side with Winston as Hanzo noticed the next person emerging from the air carrier. Hanzo was stunned at the omnic exiting the air carrier. He didn’t so much walk as literally float out, a circle of floating balls circling him. Genji rushed forward, a rush of words in a language Hanzo didn’t know, understanding only his name as he gestured over to the wall Hanzo leant up against. He dropped his smirk and nodded when they both looked over at him but they did not make their way over just yet, concealed in their own private conversation. 

 

"Wait..." Lena asked after a still moment, everyone obviously stil waiting for someone. "McCree?" She asked, a hushed worry in her voice as she turned to Jack. 

 

"Idiot fell asleep on the way home," Jack sighed, walking over to the open aircraft doors and raising his voice to a shout, sounding like an actual soldier giving commands, "McCree wake the hell up and get your butt out here," 

 

"Alright, alright, I'm comin', jeez." Answered a southern drawl from the air carrier and Hanzo held his breath in anticipation of Lord knows what coming out next. 

He heard the ominous jangle of metal echoing about the empty aircraft before he saw anything, was that a...bell of some sort? 

Hanzo realised a moment too late that he was hearing boot spurs as an honest to god cowboy stepped out of the aircraft. 

 

Hanzo's breath caught in his throat as he looked the cowboy up and down, head to toe. 

The man known as McCree wore cowboy boots, complete with spurs under a pair of brown chaps. Hanzo's eyes flew to the large belt buckle clearly displaying, even across the courtyard, the acronym 'BAMF'. He stared at the belt buckle for a second too long, in complete and utter astonishment before taking in the rest of the cowboy. 

A gold chest plate covered a brown button up shirt. Completing his torso was a red and gold serape covering the cowboy's shoulders. He held a cowboy hat in one gloved hand, using the other, which Hanzo noticed was a metal prosthetic, to run his fingers through his hair. After deciding his hair had had enough fixing, he placed the cowboy hat atop his head to complete his look. 

The cowboy drew a cigarillo from his pocket and lit it in one smooth easy motion. 

 

It took Hanzo a long minute to realise the cowboy's gaze was directly on him and it took him an even longer minute to let out the breath he had been holding in. 

 

"Well...who might this be then?" McCree tipped his hat at Hanzo as he began to make his way over and Hanzo realised the heat building in his cheeks was the beginning spread of a blush. 

"Howdy there, name's McCree,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i have like 4 more chapters written but im sorta not happy with the next one, that being said, it shouldnt be too long til its up anyway??  
> just wanted to say thank you to everyone still reading and commenting and leaving kudos, thank you guys so much omg xxxxxxxx


	3. Why did it take us so long to stop holding on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo's first month flies in as he adjusts to Overwatch life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorry this took so long omg, ive been sitting on this for while but i moved house on top of exams and stuff so everythings been a lil crazy also on top of how nervous i am about this chapter, i've literally rewritten it like 5 times  
> so this chapter was actually 2 chapters combined cause they were both too short but i feel like it turned out okay..ish??  
> lemme know what you guys think!!  
> (also, kinda imp. notes at the end)

Hanzo shook himself from his shock at seeing the cowboy, Lord knows why he had been more bewildered to see a cowboy than he had been to see a gorilla literally eating from a tub of peanut butter at breakfast. 

"Hanzo." He introduced himself curtly as McCree stopped before him, a little too close for comfort. 

The man before him shot a glance back at the crowd, to where Genji was too absorbed in the floating omnic to pay attention to anyone else.  
"Genji's brother? Well, I'll be..." McCree removed the cowboy hat once more to scratch a spot on the top of his head.  
"Well, pleasure to make your acquaintance," McCree seemed to regain his composure and bent forward, almost bowing to him and he resisted the urge to smirk. 

 

"You'll be what?" Hanzo asked instead, cocking his head to the side. 

"Uh...what?" McCree stepped back in confusion, perching the hat atop his head once more.

"You said 'I'll be'...you'll be what?" Hanzo spoke slowly, irritated by the brash man before him. 

"Oh," McCree laughed awkwardly, "No, it’s a saying...I was surprised to see you is all, darlin'," 

"Do not call me that," Hanzo tensed at the pet name, "You make no sense, cowman." 

 

Ignoring the red beginning to spread across his cheeks at having been called darling, Hanzo turned with the hope of finishing his previously abandoned breakfast without so much as a glance over his shoulder.  
The only person still in the previously bustling mess hall was Reinhardt, now cooking something else to add to the piles of food for the newly returned team members and humming to himself loudly. 

 

Hanzo had just helped himself to a second plate of rice and nori when the rest of the team entered the room, reunions now over and done with, reminding everyone of their hunger. 

Everyone returned to their normal seats, there still being enough room for the rest of the team at one table. The omnic, introduced to Hanzo as Zenyatta slid in between Genji and Lena, favouring to stay by Genji's side. Jack took the furthest seat away at the end of the table, a space in between him and everyone else. Although there were many other free seats still at the long spacious table, Hanzo felt a pang of annoyance when McCree slid into the seat beside him, a plate stacked high of food. 

 

"Reinhardt said he made this for ya, proper traditional Japanese breakfast," McCree pointed at the nori and rice on his plate among other breakfast foods, "Thought I'd have a taste, sure it ain't too bad," 

"You won't like it," Hanzo said bluntly, barely looking up from his own plate. 

"Aw, c'mon how bad can it be?" McCree smiled, scraping a large pile of nori onto his fork and stuffing it into his mouth with a smile without a second thought. 

 

Hanzo watched with a hidden smirk as the other man screwed his face up and instantly spat the dried seaweed back on the plate, taking a huge gulp of coffee to try and rid the taste from his mouth.  
"I told you that you would not like it." He stated simply. They had caught the attention of Genji from the other side of Hanzo, judging by the chuckle coming from the xyborg. 

"Jesse, I have made you try Japanese food a hundred times, what made you think this time would be different?" Genji laughed from beside him, leaning across Hanzo to steal the rest of the nori from McCree's plate. Hanzo took a minute to mule over what he assumed was the ridiculous mans' first name.

"I was jus' tryin' to be nice s'all," McCree dropped his head but Hanzo swore he saw the tinge of red spreading up from under the man's scruffy beard anyway. 

"More for us, right?" Genji elbowed Hanzo lightly, almost carefully, not that it would have hurt anyway, and reached up for the clasps of his visor. 

"I didn’t know you could..." Hanzo's voice sounded more timid than he had hoped, guilt racking his chest, a common feeling these days. At least before Overwatch he would only feel the full weight of his burden if he thought about it, now he was reminded constantly of the remorse. 

 

"It is not a pretty sight brother," Genji's own voice matched Hanzo's sombreness, his usual humorous tone gone. 

Hanzo nodded once before rising, gathering his plate and glass and looking anywhere but at Genji. 

He heard the clasp being undone, the small puff of air leaving the vents but he refused to turn back, heading to the kitchen instead to brew some tea. In a cupboard, he found what he was looking for, a box of green tea bags. They were a European diversion from how he usually drank the tea but he had known they would be here as they were not just his favourite but his brother's also. 

He put two tea bags in two cups and poured the water in, allowing them to steep for a minute before returning to the table and setting one in front of his brother, still refusing to meet Genji's eyes, to look at the damage he had done. 

 

Carefully, he turned and excused himself to his room. 

 

In the room he left the tea on the computer desk, choosing instead to sink gracefully onto the bed. He lay back, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

He had expected this to be hard, but he had never expected it to be _this _hard.__  
Would he ever be able to look his own brother in the eyes? Did he even want to see behind the visor?  
How could these people look at Genji, no -at what he had done to Genji and accept him as one of their own? 

____

 

Pushing his steadily declining thoughts away, he sat up and slowly unclasped the chest plate from his torso. 

The legs were fine, he could go weeks wearing them but he had only ever gone a couple hours with the chest plate on and it was already annoying the point on his chest where metal fused with skin. 

 

From the door he heard a small knock, wondering why Athena hadn't announced the visitor, he sighed. He knew it was Genji to make sure he was okay, even though he did not deserve his brother's concern.  
He considered ignoring it but decided that pushing Genji away would not help matters. 

 

"Athena? Door...please," 

The door slid open with a soft click and he focused on adjusting the clip on his other prosthetic leg. 

 

All too late he heard the spurs, already in the room. He sprung from the bed, grabbing the yukata robe from where he had thrown it onto the pillow that morning but it was too late. McCree had seen him without his chest plate on. 

 

Hanzo's first reaction was embarrassment, he pulled the robe on quicker than humanly possible and stood, crossing his arms over his chest as if to protect it.

Before him, McCree stood still, wide eyes trained on his now covered chest, unsure what to say. 

 

Hanzo's next reaction was anger, 

"What are you doing here?" He demanded, resisting the urge to add a chain of Japanese profanities, 

"You seemed- I jus' wanted to- I'm sorry I didn’t-" McCree couldn’t get a sentence out, still wide-eyed and frozen in place, "Why'd you open the door if you didn’t want me to see?" He finally stuttered, only succeeding in making Hanzo angrier. 

 

"I thought you were Genji!" Hanzo exploded, this time adding the profanities, "Get out." He demanded, the door opening as McCree slowly backed out, his hands up in defeat. 

"I'm real sorry Hanzo, this is not how I intended to make a first impression..." Hanzo responded by closing the door in his face. 

 

It was another couple of hours before Genji came to get him. This time he asked Athena who was at the door before allowing it to open. 

 

"I heard what happened brother..." Genji started somberly, "I thought it best to let you cool down first," 

"Yes, perhaps that was wise... _stupid cowboy, what was he even doing here... _"__

_" _I think perhaps he was just making sure you were okay, you seemed upset at breakfast. Are you...okay? _,"_ __

____

____"I cannot even look at my own brother without regret, how am I supposed to be okay?" Hanzo laughed bitterly, switching back to English as their shared language gave the conversation too much weight, reminded them both too much of home._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Do you think I do not feel the same? When I look at you, I see what I have done to you also. You may not have suffered as much physical damage but do you not think I feel the same pain when I think back to that day? When I looked my own brother in the eyes and released my dragon upon him?"_ _ _ _

____"You were just defending yourself! I was the one who was sent to kill you and I wanted to! I wanted to obey Father..."_ _ _ _

____"No! Hanzo, I was not just 'defending myself'...I too wished for your death...  
I was jealous. I was so jealous that you were the chosen one, the better son. _ _ _ _

____You did not control one dragon but two, you were more gifted with a sword than me and you were not the family disgrace! So I looked you in the eyes and thought about how satisfying it would be to be the better brother for once and I wished for your death..."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Hanzo froze into place, dissecting his brothers words in his mind before beginning to form his own. Opening his mouth, he surprised them both when a deep, heartfelt laugh escaped from his lips._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Surely, you must hate me now, why are you laughing?" Genji sank to the bed, his voice quiet now, defeat evident on his face, worried he had finally broken his only sibling._ _ _ _

____"No, in fact, quite the opposite. You do not understand how happy hearing that has made me,"_ _ _ _

____It was Genji's turn to laugh this time. "Brother, do you know how messed up that is?"_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Hanzo laughed again, this time a contented one as he sank to the bed beside his brother. "I have spent the last ten years hating myself for wanting to kill my brother only to find he, too, wanted to kill me also."_ _ _ _

____"I guess we took the sibling rivalry a little too far," Genji chuckled back, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his chest. A comfortable silence settled between them._ _ _ _

____ _ _

______"It sickens me to think of how you have spent the last ten years. If Overwatch had not found me, I know I would have followed the same path. I could not live with the guilt of what I had done. They brought me in, Dr Ziegler fixed me up and they found me a purpose." Genji sighed, undoing the clasps of his visor bur only removing the part that covered his eyes. Hanzo surprised himself by meeting them immediately, noticing the pain that lay within them.  
"I did not bring you here just because I had forgiven you Hanzo, or even to help you forgive yourself. No, my reasons were much more selfish.  
I need _you _to forgive _me _. Although I have built a new life here, I will always be stuck in the past until we can both truly forgive each other..."____

_____ _

__

________"Can they find me one too?" Hanzo asked suddenly, his voice cracking with raw emotion. "A purpose?"  
Genji stood up, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Only if you let us brother,"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hanzo looked up to find the room empty, his brother gone. With a quiet click, the door closed, leaving Hanzo with a lot to think about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________***_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The next few weeks flew in as Hanzo found himself adjusting well to life in Gibraltar._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He integrated himself slowly into training. At first, he simply observed, mentally noting each person's strengths and weaknesses. One late night, after the team practice had ended -a general close combat melee session, he found himself staying in the practice range to observe McCree._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He sat on a bench against the back wall, pretending to adjust the fletchings on the end of his arrows and avoiding McCree's glances as the other man set up the training range for his personal use at an interface on the wall. He had brought his bow although he had not yet felt the need to join a training session, despite the team's many invitations. It just felt nice to even hold his storm bow after his weeks away from using it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hanzo just barely concealed his jump when the first bang rang throughout the room. He looked up alarmingly, finding the source to be the large gun normally toted on the cowboy's hip. Strange, he had almost thought it was another absurd accessory, having never seen it in use._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He dropped his gaze just in time to avoid the gunslinger's eyes as he turned to check if Hanzo was watching._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You can train with me if you want, ya know." The man added, sounding almost...dismayed to see Hanzo's attention not on him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hanzo gathered his arrows into their quiver, still refusing to meet the other man's gaze. He had been avoiding McCree since the incident in his room and they both knew it.  
"I find your weapon impractical and insulting," He quipped, leaving the room with a masked smirk as the gunslinger huffed out a breath of air. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________***_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hanzo found himself opening up more to Genji. There was still a lot to be said between them but for once, he felt no pressure to say them. They had time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Genji's confession had changed Hanzo and reassured him that Overwatch would be good for him. If nothing else came from it, at least he had a safe space where he could relax without the fear of the Shimada clan finding him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The idea of being safe somewhere was a hard concept for him to accept at first but he found repeating the words to himself helped.  
And so that is what he did, he repeated the words until they no longer scared him and became a simple part of his everyday thoughts. He was safe here. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And with each day spent with Genji, whether it was their frequent meditation together or simply fighting over last green tea bag in the kitchen, his guilt lessened a little more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Knowing his brother felt the same remorse as he had helped him in ways he could have never imagined and before long, he knew he would soon forgive Genji._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Forgiving himself would not be as easy, he understood this but he also knew he was definitely on the right path._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________As the end of his first month drew near, Hanzo knew he had overstayed his welcome. He had a decision to make._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That was why, two days later he found himself in Winston's workshop turned makeshift office._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I wish to join Overwatch. Officially," Hanzo may have opened up to his brother but he had not yet made enough progress to open up to the other members of Overwatch, ten years of solitude will do that to a guy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Wonderful! I'm looking forward to working with you!" The gorilla barely looked up from the elcetronic device sparking in his hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Later that evening, he found himself nervous to tell Genji of his news._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They sat on the ledge Hanzo had discovered in his first week, a comfortable silence between them as they meditated peacefully, only the sound of the sea in the background._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Genji's visor sat beside him, Hanzo sneaking small glances at the scars around his brother's eyes. Perhaps one day he could work up to seeing the full extent of the damage._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Genji, I have news," Hanzo kept his voice even and peaceful, as not to disturb his brother's meditation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Yes, I'm aware. Your first mission is tomorrow." Hanzo noticed Genji smile as it reached his eyes. "Nothing difficult of course, just some recon."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Oh, I had not expected it to be so soon." Hanzo was relieved he did not have to awkwardly break the news and wait for a response._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I think Winston just wants to let you know you're officially a member." Genji's smile did not falter, "And I think you lucked out with this one."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Do not tell me I get to complete my first mission with my reconciled brother by my side?" Hanzo smirked to himself, not getting to savour the genuine smile for long as Genji's next words wiped it from his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Even better...McCree,"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter focuses on hanzo & genji a lot im sorry if ur not into that, i just think their relationship is super important in this au cause its not like one sided guilt anymore?? and genji has seemed p zen (ha see what i did there) so far but i wanted to show his own struggles with what happened??  
> i know everything seems very fast paced atm, im still sort of setting the scene i guess and next chapter will def be more chill and in a more present, sort of told as it happens narrative i guess??  
> anyway, mchanzo things will definitely begin to happen in the next chapter, eeeeeeep  
> as always, thank you guys so much for reading !! <3  
> also if anyone is interested in being a proof reader/ personal reassurer that my writing is not as trash as i think it is, send me a message at why-brows.tumblr.com?? i am suffering alone here


	4. All We Know Is Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo's first mission with the team doesn't exactly go according to plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello sorry this took me a while i finished school so ill hopefully have a lot more time to write now

Genji had not been lying when he said the mission was simple recon, he just had not disclosed the information that it would take more than a couple days. 

The team was made up of McCree, Hanzo, Lena –or Tracer as she was known on duty and Lucio as support, in case they needed a medic. 

Hanzo sank to an empty bench on the aircraft. It was a lot larger on the inside, filled only with benches lining the walls and a small row of metal lockers at the back. 

He looked around at the small group of people that made up the team. 

He could not currently see Tracer as she piloted the aircraft in the cockpit although every once in a while he heard the faint trace of her light airy laugh as she talked away, using her comm to host a private call to someone. 

On the bench opposite Hanzo, Lucio sat with his head back against the wall, still listening to something on a large pair of earphones covering his ears. His eyes were closed and Hanzo admired his tranquillity, almost jealous of how peaceful the DJ looked. 

Drawing his attention from the resting man, he heard the creak of a metal door as McCree opened a locker at the back of the aircraft. 

Hanzo brought his knees up, crossing his legs and focused on ignoring the annoying man as he closed his eyes, trying to concentrate his mind on nothing as he slipped into a gentle meditation. 

He was disturbed once more as he felt a presence settle on the bench beside him. 

"What is it McCree?" He sighed without opening his eyes. 

"Ya havin' some bother with that?" The gunslinger's voice was quiet, void of all the cockiness the man normally displayed. 

Hanzo opened his eyes now, he hadn't realised he'd been rubbing the point where metal met skin through his chest plate. 

"It is none of your concern." Hanzo closed his eyes once more, trying to ignore the cowboy again. 

"You could always change," McCree pointed out, not taking the hint. 

"I have only my sleepwear with me. It would not be appropriate to wear in front of others." 

He didn’t have to open his eyes to feel the cowboy shift beside him as he stood up, feeling the other man move away with a mumble of 'you must be a fun one-night stand'. 

He let his head fall back to rest on the wall, maybe he could finally meditate in peace. 

From the far end of the plane, he heard the scrape of the metal locker again followed by the ridiculous jangle of spurs coming closer once more and almost growled out loud. Was McCree really so oblivious? 

He almost jolted at the soft fabric being placed across his lap, peeking one eye open to see the hideous plaid of a folded up shirt. 

He lifted the shirt by the collar and let the folds fall out of it. 

It really was the ugliest shirt he had ever seen. The red was far too bright, drawing his eyes to the ugly contrast of the black lines that crossed over each other insultingly. 

"Well, heck darlin'. You don't gotta look at it like that. It ain't gonna bite." McCree sounded almost disappointed. "You don't gotta wear it if you don't want," 

"No. This is...fine," Hanzo surprised them both by accepting the ugly shirt, not quite ready to give up the comforting feeling of soft cotton underneath his fingertips. 

"I promise I won't even look," McCree smirked, laying back on the bench and placing the oversized cowboy hat comically over his eyes. 

Hanzo's eyes subconsciously flickered his eyes across the aircraft to Lucio, who was quietly snoring now, a loud beat escaping from the earphones on his head and Hanzo wondered how the man could sleep through that. 

He glanced back to the cowboy, quiet for what Hanzo thought to be the first time in his life and sighed. 

He wasted no time removing the painful chest plate, turning his back to the cowboy, just in case. His skin, or what was left of it, screamed in relief at being freed as pulled the light airy fabric of the shirt over his shoulders. 

The cotton was almost unbelievably soft against his flesh shoulder, it was almost a crime that such an ugly shirt be so comfortable to wear. 

The smell hit him next, a rustic mixture of smoke and herbs with the slightest hint of aftershave, not exactly unpleasant. 

He had just finished the last button as he heard the wolf whistle behind him. He turned to find McCree upright, the hat on the bench beside him, prosthetic hand over his heart. 

"Well...if you aren't as pretty as a picture," The man looked almost sheepish behind his jovial tone. 

Hanzo bit back the retort on the tip of his tongue, some quip about McCree being ridiculous and closed his eyes once more, settling back into the metal bench as comfortably as possible. 

"Thank you for the shirt, Jesse." 

The rest of the flight passed peacefully. McCree had eventually dozed off on the bench beside Hanzo and he'd found some quiet time to actually get some meditation done. 

He hated how soft and light McCree's shirt felt on his shoulders, how easy it felt to meditate in it, how natural it felt to breathe in the musky scent. 

Halfway through the flight, Hanzo found himself loosening the ribbon holding his ponytail in place, letting the shorter strands fall onto his face. He knew he was letting his guard down, letting himself open to the possibilities of trusting these people and he hated it. The last time he had trusted anyone, he had been stabbed in the back...almost literally. 

Then again, these people had given him no reason not to trust them. They had opened their home to him, trusted him immediately, forgiven his mistakes. What else would they need to do to earn his trust? 

Hanzo felt the aircraft begin to descent and lifted his head, opening his eyes to the dimly lit interior. Looking down he noticed how close McCree's knee was to his but felt no need to draw back just yet. 

"Landing in about ten minutes loves," Tracer's voice crackled to life over their comm systems, ignored by a sleeping McCree and Lucio. 

Hanzo found himself nudging the sleeping McCree with his knee, letting the cowboy know they were close to landing 

Beside him, McCree sat up and rubbed his eyes almost comically. He shot a sheepish smile at Hanzo, having previously forgotten about the shirt in his post-nap daze and reminded how pretty the archer looked in it, especially with his hair like that. 

"Gosh darn, this dream just keeps getting' better." McCree smirked as he reached out to touch a loose piece of Hanzo's hair. 

Hanzo froze, his breath shallowing...almost allowing the other man to continue but McCree caught himself, realised what he had been about to do and drew back, turning the gesture into a stretch instead. 

Hanzo huffed, pretending to be annoyed at McCree's comment and ignoring the thudding of his heart inside his metallic chest. 

They held each other's gaze for a few tense seconds, both of them trapped in the other's eyes, Hanzo's face serious and stony, McCree's smirking and smug. 

And for a mere fraction of a second, Hanzo almost swore he saw a flicker of sadness, a look he often saw mirrored in his own eyes. 

The moment was broken when the aircraft gently touched down onto solid ground, somehow waking Lucio who had slept through the deafening music of his headphones. 

Hanzo was the first off the aircraft, lifting his hand to shield his eyes from the blinding brightness outside the dim plane as his surroundings came into view. 

He had been expecting pretty much anything except what he actually saw. He had expected to step off the plane into a war-torn town, death and destruction literally littering the ground before him but instead he saw...a poster town for summer vacationing and European getaways. 

"Where...are we?" He looked at the picturesque town built into the island around him. 

"Welcome to Ilios, Greece," Athena's voice informed them from the aircraft behind, just a moment too late. 

"Ilios?" Hanzo turned to the rest of the team, doubt clouding his expression. "This is what we're here to observe?" 

"Not exactly," Tracer zipped from the doors to join them in the open, "On the other side of the mountain lies Ilios Ruins, a site Overwatch believes to hold ancient artefacts wanted by most organisations on the planet. We've recently received word that Talon is here and close to uncovering an artefact that could cause a whole lot of damage in the wrong hands," Tracer spoke a mile a minute and Hanzo just barely kept up. 

"But for now," She continued, "We get to blend in," She grinned widely at them, producing a large pair of sunglasses from seemingly nowhere and placing them over her eyes. 

He looked down at himself, aware that the flannel shirt and long trousers were not appropriate for 'blending in' and shivered at the idea of whatever horror was about to come his way. 

*** 

They found the villa quite easily, not unlike the other holiday homes lining the island it was a stereotypically European looking white building with a domed pastel blue roof. Unlike the other holiday homes, it had the Overwatch symbol discreetly marked by the front door. 

The symbol was difficult to see unless deliberately looked for yet Hanzo still mused at how obvious these people seemed to be. 

The inside had appeared to be like any other holiday home Hanzo had imagined. His first glance through the front door showed him an open plan living room fit with plastic covered furniture. 

Hanzo had barely stepped over the line of the property when Lucio appeared, already in a pair of floral shorts and tank top sporting a cartoon-like frog. 

"Han, my man, you are not gonna believe this!" He stepped back with an outstretched arm, revealing a glistening deep blue through the patio doors, "We have our own pool!" 

Hanzo was unsure as to why Lucio would go out of the way to inform him but refrained himself from rolling his eyes, not that it would have mattered as Lucio zoomed off without missing a beat. 

Hanzo turned to find McCree leaning against the doorway, a wide grin on his face. 

"Not up for a dip?" 

"I knew Genji had been too smug informing me of this mission," Hanzo muttered, pushing past the smiling idiot to find a quiet room to rest in. 

Upstairs he found three identical bedrooms, great, just one short. He chose the most peaceful one, furthest away from the loud splashing coming from Lucio and Lena outside, including the 'Hey nows' occasionally coming from McCree as Hanzo imagined Lucio tried to splash his boots. 

Hanzo settled on the bed, legs crossed and let himself drift into a gentle meditation once more. 

It wasn't long before Lena came to find him, knocking lightly on the door. 

"Hey love, just wanted to inform you of the plan," She peeked around the door. "We're supposed to go check out the ruins later tonight, see what we can find on what Talon's up to. We leave in about an hour." She smiled at him and was gone as soon as she had appeared. 

The pool had quieted down in the past hour and Hanzo ventured out to see the damage they had done. 

He found himself wandering through the patio doors and stopping in his tracks almost instantly. 

Spread across a sun lounger near the small pool lay McCree, smoking a cigarillo. 

He had ditched the cowboy ensemble for something more casual, wearing only a grey T-shirt and boxers. On closer inspection Hanzo noticed the shirt read 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy' 

McCree looked up and met Hanzo's gaze, almost choking on the smoke at the expression on Hanzo's face. 

"Lord have mercy, he smiles," McCree sat forward, swinging his feet to the side so he was sitting upright. 

"I find your shirt ridiculous," Hanzo compressed the laugh he wanted to let out, "Yet I appreciate it," 

"Yeah?" McCree waggled his eyebrows as Hanzo crossed the small patio, carefully stepping around the puddles of water to keep his prosthetics good. "Didn't want to have to bring Lucio's body home for ruinin' my boots so I changed..." McCree added as Hanzo sat on the lounger opposite, tucking his legs underneath him. 

McCree reached under the pillow of the lounger, producing a hip flask that glimmered in the reflection of the moon. 

"We leave in an hour...do you think that wise?" Hanzo asked but reached for the flask anyway, taking a long draw. He barely repressed the shudder caused by the vile taste of the whisky and passed it back. 

"Liquid courage and all that," McCree mimicked Hanzo taking a long sip before tucking the flask away, concealed once more. 

"Does it hurt?" 

"What?" Hanzo started, surprised by McCree's sudden question. 

"The metal, ya know, where they rebuilt ya?" 

"No." Hanzo lied, standing and turned his back to the man. He walked to the edge of the pool, toeing the edge of the glistening water with a prosthetic. "Does your arm hurt?" 

"Well, no but it’s a lil' different." 

"Is it?" Hanzo asked rhetorically. 

"Why were you so angry, that day I walked in on ya changing?" Hanzo heard the lounger creak as McCree stood behind him, obviously encouraged that Hanzo hadn't immediately shut down and had actually answered one of his questions. 

"You saw...my skin. It's...a mess. It's hideous," _I'm hideous. _He didn't need to add the last part out loud, McCree seemed to understand.__

__

__Hanzo was startled when a soft handed landed on his flesh shoulder, feeling the heat through the borrowed shirt he still wore._ _

__

__"I think you're the damn prettiest thing I ever seen, ain't anything hideous about you." Hanzo's breath caught as McCree's next words came out, waiting for a laugh, a 'just kidding'. Something, anything to let Hanzo knowing he was messing around but all he heard was the quiet click as the patio doors opened and he turned to find the patio empty, a distinct lack of heat on his shoulder where McCree's hand had been before._ _

__

__He found himself avoiding McCree's gaze later that night when they finally set off for the ruins, an hours hike up the hill from the town._ _

__He found himself almost contented at the feeling of having his storm bow in his hands. It had been over a month since he had fired an arrow, possibly the longest amount of time since he first picked up the bow but he did not doubt for a second that his skills had stayed sharp._ _

__

__He scouted ahead of the rest of the group and proved himself right by picking off two guards stationed near the entrance of what looked like a cave close to the first fallen column of what was once a building in the ruins._ _

__

__They regrouped beside the fallen guards,_ _

__

__"You two go ahead," Tracer gestured to the cave, "Lucio and I will check out some more of the ruins, see what's above ground," Everyone nodded at each other_ _

__

__"Make sure your comms are on and check-in in an hour." Tracer added as she zipped off, a literal blur thanks to the chronal accelerator displayed proudly on her chest. Lucio waved with one hand as he skated after her and Hanzo and McCree turned to each other._ _

__

__"The universe keeps on findin' ways of puttin' us together huh?" the gunslinger smirked as he tipped his hat at Hanzo, ignored as the archer turned and headed into the cave entrance._ _

__

__The cave turned out to be just that, a cave. Just past the entrance, the walls narrowed making Hanzo and McCree have to stoop to walk. They followed the narrow hallways for what felt like forever until they opened up into a large spanning room which appeared to be empty._ _

__

__Above head bats fluttered and Hanzo swore he heard Jesse tell one to 'fuck off' under his breath when it flew a little too close._ _

__

__After what had felt like hours and was in reality only 20 minutes, they found the back wall of the cave._ _

__

__As Hanzo led the way right back to the wall, just to be sure, bow raised he heard McCree stop behind him suddenly. He turned, lowering the bow._ _

__

__"Somethin' about this ain't right..." McCree scratched his beard, tapping one spurred boot on the floor. "Why on earth would they have two guys guardin' nothin'?"_ _

__

__Hanzo did not have time to reply as they heard the rumble of rocks overhead, the ground underneath them beginning to shake violently._ _

__

__"Whole damn cave's crumblin'!" McCree made a lunge for Hanzo, pulling him out of the way right as a large pile of rocks rained from the ceiling._ _

__

__Hanzo looked up just in time to see the rest of the ceiling follow suit, allowing him just enough time to throw himself onto Jesse, knocking them both flat to the floor as the ceiling came down around them._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for all the kudos and comments oh man they give me life, i have no idea where i'm going with this fic so welp


	5. Got nothing but time on our hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo is thirsty I guess?? thats it, thats the whole chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello im not dead, im sorry its been so long, i dont even have an excuse, i just suck??  
> this fic is going in a completely different direction from what i first pictured but im excited  
> also i wrote this whole chapter in like 20 mins and havent proof read so sorry if theres some mistakes??

Hanzo hit the ground, hard.  
The collapsing ceiling had in turn brought the whole cave down and Hanzo had found himself falling with it, his arms instinctively wrapping around McCree as they both went straight through the former floor.

As they had fallen, Hanzo had pivoted them so he was on top of McCree, the cowboy bearing the brunt of the impact but Hanzo bearing the crash of rocks around them, knowing that would be the worse of the two.

As the shower of rocks around them slowed and eventually turned to dust, he let out the breath he had been holding. Only a few had bounced off Hanzo's back, not enough to damage his rebuilt body.

Slowly, Hanzo opened his eyes, worried to see the damage caused.

Jesse had been knocked unconscious by the impact and lay peacefully under Hanzo, the cowboy hat landing a few metres away from his head. The archer got up from his compromising position and examined the other man before examining himself for injuries.  
They both seemed to have avoided major injuries. He noticed the gunslinger's prosthetic arm had taken a slight hit, a small panel of exposed wiring sparking slightly as the fingers twitched intermittently but Hanzo found he was oddly relieved it was the only thing damaged.

Hanzo inspected the room around them, it seemed to be another cave not unlike the one before.  
His quiver had been freed from the strap during the fall and arrows laced the ground between fallen debris.  
At the other side of the room he noticed the cowboy's absurdly noisy gun glinting in the dim light. There was no sign of his beloved bow and he prayed it had not been trapped by the rocks.  
He carefully stepped around rock piles and retrieved the gun, as much as he would love to toss it somewhere out of sight and be rid of its annoying noise, it was probably good to have at least one weapon on them.

Tucking the gun into the waistband of his trousers, he checked the walls for exits to find the only one leading out of the room had been blocked up during the rockslide and quietly cursed to himself, they were trapped.

He checked his ear for his comm and cursed again when he realised it had been knocked out during the fall. Remembering about McCree's he reached down and plucked it from the unconscious man's ear, tucking it into his own.

"Tracer? Lucio?" He heard only static on the other line, worried the comm had been damaged.

"Bit busy here love, be with you in a minute," After a minute of silence Tracer's brilliant English accent crackled to life over the sound of gunfire and Hanzo nearly collapsed with relief. He picked through the rubble as he waited, becoming almost desperate to find his bow, he did not want to have to rely on McCree’s absurd weapon of choice if trouble arose.

"What's your position?" Lucio came in, more serious than Hanzo had ever heard him.

"The cave collapsed, we're trapped here,"

"Any injuries?" They were losing the connection which worried Hanzo even more.

"McCree's unconscious but I think we're both okay,"

"Okay, sit tight! We'll be there as soon as pos-" The connection cut Tracer off mid-sentence and Hanzo took the earpiece out to see the blue light slowly fade from it, dead.

Hanzo noticed what he thought was storm bow protruding from a pile of rocks but turned out to be just another arrow as he heard a groan behind him.

Hanzo all but sprinted to the cowboy's side, sinking to a crouch beside the other man.

Jesse slowly opened his eyes, focusing immediately on the hat to his right.

"Aw hell, my hat," The cowboy reached out for the slightly crumpled hat, drawing back as he winced in pain.

"Are you injured?" Hanzo found himself worried about the other man, irritating himself by how attached he was getting to McCree.

McCree met his gaze and forced a thin-lipped smile, his face pained as he gently shook his head one for yes.  
He lifted his prosthetic hand to the serape wrapped around his shoulders and drew in a deep breath before slowly peeling the serape back.

Under the serape, just about protruding from the flesh of McCree's shoulder, was an arrowhead.

Hanzo swore loudly, how could he do this? His first mission and he was already fucking up, how typical…of course it had to have been one of his arrows.

“Han? You still with me?” The cowboy’s annoying drawl brought him back from his thoughts and he startled, realising just how like his father the current voice in his head sounded and pushed away the self-deprecating thoughts.  
Standing here berating himself was not going to help anything.

“Yes.” He dropped to his knees beside the cowboy and tugged the serape off the rest of his shoulders, balling it up to use as a makeshift bandage.

He pressed it to the wound around the protruding arrow with a grimace as McCree shuddered at the new wave of pain.

The cowboy reached for his hat again, this time with the other hand. The metal fingers slid under the brim but nothing happens and McCree’s face darkened with concentration as Hanzo realised the man was trying to get the fingers to close around it.

Hanzo allowed it to linger for a moment before giving in and retrieving the hat, letting it fall lightly onto the cowboy’s chest.

Of all things right now, of course the foolish man is more concerned about his hat than his own body.

Jesse brought the hat close to his face with the good hand, seemingly examining for damage. Hanzo had almost completely had it when finally, the gunslinger’s face lights up as he dropped the hat back onto his chest to pick at something on the brim.

Hanzo’s irritation is all but gone as the cowboy held up a silver needle, tiny but glinting in the dim light.

“How good are ya at sewin’?” The cowboy smirks and Hanzo took the needle from him with raised eyebrows.

The cowboy shrugged, sending a new wave of pain through his arm and grimacing, “You can find most things on missions but trust me, it’s tougher than a 2-dollar steak to find a good suturin’ needle,” The cowboy smiled smugly as he pulled a loose thread from the edge of the balled-up serape and held it out to Hanzo.

Hanzo, only subconsciously wondering what steak had to do with finding first aid supplies, took the thread and expertly threaded the needle.

“I am not sure this is the best idea, we should wait for proper medical help, Tracer said they’ll be here as soon as they can.”

“We got no idea how long that’ll be and I reckon I’d rather not be bleedin’ the whole time.” Jesse smiled in what Hanzo imagined was meant to be reassuring, “Trust me, I done this a hundred times.”

Hanzo weighed up his options, he too has had his fair share of stitching himself up after fights but this seemed different.  
Had it been himself, he would’ve pulled the arrow out and stitched himself up, no hesitation. But McCree was different.

Yes, the man was a constant pain in Hanzo’s ass that had done nothing but annoy him since they locked eyes, but he seemed like a good man, he had already shown Hanzo a lot more kindness than he deserved.

Not to mention how pissed Genji would be if Hanzo killed his best friend from a shoddy suture job…no, that would not be pretty.

The cowboy pulled the hidden flask he seemingly always carried and pushed it towards Hanzo, as far as his arm would let him with the current restriction of his shoulder.

“Least we got some disinfectant,”

Hanzo sighed, at the rate the gunslinger was losing blood, help needed to arrive very soon or it wasn’t going to be great, for either of them.

“Okay.” Hanzo sighed finally, sitting up straighter on his knees.

He removed the serape slowly and a trickle of blood gushed from the now exposed wound. It definitely didn’t look amazing.

Hanzo screwed open the flask first, ready to disinfect as soon as the arrow was out.

“Wait,” The cowboy sat up slightly, leaning on the malfunctioning prosthetic. He took the flask from Hanzo’s steady hands into his own slightly shaky ones.

Hanzo sat back slightly, sure he had changed his mind about receiving surgery from a man he had known five minutes.

Ignoring the concerned look on Hanzo’s face, Jesse tipped back the flask and took a long draw before returning it to the archer.

“Much better, ready now,” He lay back down and drew a deep breath, preparing himself for the pain about to come his way.

Without hesitation to rethink his bad decisions, Hanzo placed both hands around the arrow and pulled. The wood, slick with blood, came out with little resistance and Jesse groaned loudly, putting the brim of his hat in his mouth to bite down on.

“Sorry,” Hanzo wasn’t sure why he apologised, normally this didn’t bother him but McCree’s laboured breaths were getting to him.

He quickly tore a dry bit of the serape off and soaked it in the bourbon, wiping the wound as tenderly as possible. Below his hands, McCree’s moans were slightly muffled by the brim of the hat but nonetheless painful sounding.

Hanzo pushed through the guilt and began the cheap alternative of suturing, the cowboy’s moans slowly ebbing to a whimper as the pain became more bearable.

Seeing as it had just been an arrow, the wound didn’t take long to sew closed and he heard the cowboy breathe a sigh of relief as Hanzo tied off the thread and broke it from the needle.

He allowed the cowboy a minute’s rest before reminding him his work was not over, “I must do the other side now, the entry wound.”

“Lord have mercy,” The cowboy sucked a breath in between his teeth and attempted to sit up, instantly groaning in pain and almost falling back down.

Hanzo slipped a strong arm under the gunslinger’s back and used it to gently pull the man up into a sitting position. He shifted behind the cowboy so the man could rest the small of his back against Hanzo’s knees as way of a little help sitting up.

Hanzo examined the entry wound…it was a mere millimetre from the edge of the cowboy’s protective chest plate. Of course it was, just his luck.

The shirt hadn’t ripped as much at the back and Hanzo found he couldn’t see much of the wound at all.

“Can I take this off?” Hanzo placed a light finger on the shoulder of McCree’s chest plate so the pained man wouldn’t have to turn around, “I can’t see the entry point,”

“Well, shucks darlin’, least buy me dinner first,” The cowboy laughed at himself and Hanzo found his face reddening at the suggestive comment, biting his tongue to stop himself reprimanding the man for his use of pet name.

When Hanzo didn’t answer, the cowboy chuckled again, “Alright, sorry, I couldn’t resist. Go ahead.”

Hanzo finally found the clasp to the chest plate, it lay at Jesse’s side, not far under his armpit and Hanzo loosened it before gently easing off the armour.

Hanzo was relieved when McCree helped him with the shirt, undoing all the buttons on the front with his flesh hand. However, with one arm malfunctioning from the elbow down and no use in the other shoulder, Hanzo had to take over from there.

He lightly grasped the cotton between his fingers, one side flesh and one side prosthetic and gently slid the shirt from the cowboy’s shoulders.

He did it gently, as to not hurt McCree any further but the heavy silence between them as he undressed McCree made things feel a lot more intimate than they should have been.  
As Hanzo though back to last time he had been this close to someone, not to mention undressing them, his face burned hot and he was very grateful the infuriating man was facing away from him.

Hanzo also couldn’t help but take in McCree’s exposed back. It looked just how it had felt under Hanzo’s arms as they had fell, muscly and strong. Hanzo raked his eyes over the tan skin covering broad shoulders, giving way to smooth, well defined muscles that ran over McCree’s shoulder blades. Hanzo let his eyes trail the whole way down to the small of McCree’s back, a strange urge to run a hand down the man’s spine took over him.

Hanzo had almost forgotten about the night before, about McCree’s comment. The cowboy had said he thought Hanzo was the ‘prettiest damn thing’ he’d ever seen. Sitting here, Hanzo thought how that comment possible couldn’t be true, especially if the front view of McCree matched the intricate muscles lacing his back.

“Well, how’s it looking?” The cowboy shook Hanzo from his lost thoughts and he grimaced as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t. He forced his eyes back up to the wound and pressed a finger to the skin nearby tenderly, not wanting to continue thinking about his realisation of how attractive McCree was.

“Not too bad. I’m going to suture it now…” Hanzo give the man a soft warning before pulling another thread from the serape and beginning the process again.

He helped McCree put the shirt back on, extra careful not to lose himself in admiring the man’s form this time and helped him get comfortable closer to the wall so he could rest against it.

Hanzo sat nearby, figuring they might be in for a long night.  
If it even was night.  
At least the cowboy was being abnormally quiet, wounded or not.

“So,” McCree broke the silence after only a moment. A very long night indeed, Hanzo thought to himself.  
“I spy or would you rather?” The cowboy smirked smugly at him.

 

Tracer and Lucio came for them a couple hours later with a rope to pull them up.

Hanzo helped McCree tie the rope around his waist before using it to climb up to the room they had started in with little difficulty.

Once up, he examined the wall and realised he probably could have climbed it before. He had climbed buildings with little to no foot holes before, a rocky ledge wouldn’t have been an issue. But the thought had never even occurred to him, with Jesse wounded.  
He decided not to give it too much thought and focused on helping Lucio and Lena use the rope to hoist the gunslinger up.

Lucio examined Hanzo’s attempt at suturing and cleaned McCree’s a wound up a little better with some bandages before deeming them fit to set out.

“What now?” McCree asked once Hanzo’s sutures had been deemed not too bad.

“Word from Winston to return to base, we’ve been compromised,” Tracer informed them as she rolled the rope up and threw it back over her shoulder. “Oh! Also, might want this back love,” She zipped to the other side of the room and returned with Hanzo’s storm bow in her hand, “Must’ve dropped it on the way down,” She smiled brightly and Hanzo found himself smiling back, beyond relieved to have his bow back in his hand.

“Woah, an emotion,” McCree gasped, quickly wiping the smile from Hanzo’s face, “Damn, shoulda took a photo, now Genji’ll never believe me…”

“Try it cowman and I’ll put another arrow in you,” Hanzo forced his voice to sound as serious as possible, in turn wiping the smile off Tracer and Lucio’s faces.

The cowboy’s face straightened for a second before he opened his mouth and let out a booming laugh, sending a sense of pride through Hanzo for making the man laugh so loud. He normally only laughed that loud at his own jokes so it was quite an achievement for anyone.

“You should try the humour thing more, suits you,” McCree tipped the hat now back on his head and the lightness of the conversation passed, replaced by the familiar feeling of annoyance in Hanzo.

The comment had been meant light heartedly but it had hit a nerve in him, humour did not suit him and it was ridiculous for the man to say so. Hanzo Shimada did not have time for humour, for fun, he did not deserve it.

“Let’s go then,” His annoyed and distant tone let them know the moment was over. Hanzo set off first, making his way out of the cave to ignore the dark thoughts attempting to creep into his mind.

Tracer had brought the plane thankfully, it’s what must have taken them so long, going back to retrieve it. But Hanzo was thankful that they did, the hours walk back did not seem appealing after he had killed the conversation.

Hanzo was also thankful that the second the cowboy sat down, he passed out. Hanzo really was not in the mood for any more of McCree’s conversation, especially after the man had just spent the last three hours trying to get him to indulge him in a game of would you rather.

Hanzo leant his head back, feeling the heaviness in what was left of his muscles he realised how exhausted he was too and let himself slip into a light doze as Tracer took off. It would be well into the night by the time they got back to Gibraltar.

 

 

Hanzo woke near the base, on the opposite bench McCree lay still sleeping and further down the aircraft Lucio listened to something very loud and bass-heavy as he played a game on his phone.

As soon as they landed Hanzo was off the carrier, looking forward to an actual bed to rest in.

As he was getting ready to crawl into bed, he was reminded of McCree’s gun he had tucked into the waistband of his pants and set it on the small set of drawers beside his bed. He would have to return it tomorrow.  
He would also like to see how if his make-shift stitches had helped or caused more damage as he assumed the cowboy was probably already in the med bay getting checked over by a sleepy Dr. Ziegler.  
Perfect, he could use the gun as an excuse to check in on the gunslinger.

He wasn’t exactly sure why, perhaps it was just because he had closed up the wound and felt partially responsible therefore for the care of the cut or maybe it was because in a roundabout way, he had caused it, as it had been one of his arrows that had caused it…but he found himself oddly curious to make sure McCree was okay.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think about it anymore, he wasn’t sure he wanted to see where those thoughts went, particularly back to how toned and attractive he had found the exposed muscles of McCree’s back, and slipped into a peaceful dreamless sleep.

 

 

He was awakened by the opening of the door the next morning.  
Checking the clock, he groaned at seeing he had only had four hours sleep.

Turning in bed to face the intruder, he pulled the covers up to his neck and peeked one eye open.

“Genji, it’s 8am.”  
“Did you shoot McCree with an arrow?” Genji sounded pissed and Hanzo rolled back over, pulling a pillow over his head and groaning even louder.

“I wish I had…”

“Hanzo!” Genji pulled the pillow from his head, tossing it across the room.

“I didn’t shoot McCree with an arrow.” Hanzo gave in and sat up, realising he was probably not getting back to sleep anytime soon. “He…fell on it.”

“Hanzo!” Genji’s voice increased in volume yet again, “That’s what you say when you did the thing and don’t want anyone to know you did the thing!”

“I didn’t shoot him with an arrow Genji! Please. I would admit to it, trust me, I want to…” Hanzo rolled his eyes but fought to hold back a small smile at how overly brotherly this argument felt, “We were in a cave that collapsed. During the collapse McCree fell on an arrow, that’s all.”

Genji’s body relaxed and he didn’t seem as ready to fight anymore, “Oh…” His voice had calmed too, “Well…don’t shoot him with an arrow in the future either I guess.”

“No promises,” Hanzo grinned, getting up from the bed, glad he had put a shirt on before bed.  
“Reinhardt made nori again if you want some,” Hanzo didn’t need to see Genji’s face to know he was smiling.  
Hanzo’s grin widened, “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the mission was meant to be like a whole thing but then i changed my mind which is kinda why it took me so long to update?? but ive kinda decided where i want to go with this, so hopefully more updates?? that being said i do start uni soon so ill try my best??  
> also this chapter is like double the normal length to make up for how long it took lol  
> thank you guys for reading and i am sorry this took so long!!


	6. I thought I'd never see the day when you'd smile at me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and McCree have a little heart to heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey again, i feel like every chapter i ever post will end up with me apologising for taking so long lol  
> im really sorry this took so long again, i started uni and ive been really sick and yeah, all the excuses im sorry
> 
> also this chapters quite boring but im setting stuff up cause next chapter definitely has some sweet mchanzo action, hope ur ready

It’s not like Hanzo was looking for the cowboy at breakfast…or at least that’s what he told himself when he noticed the empty seat at the end of the table that Jesse seemed to prefer.

Anyway, he didn’t have to be the man’s best friend to know how much he hated mornings. He was probably just still asleep, they had gotten back in the middle of the night and if it hadn’t been for Genji’s rude awakening, Hanzo himself would have still been sleeping.

So that had to be the reason for McCree’s absence. Of course it was…Hanzo wasn’t going to waste any more time thinking about this.... which is what he told himself at least.

Now that he had woken up properly and had some of Reinhardt’s surprisingly good nori, he felt a lot more awake.

He had a couple of post mission things to do, Winston liked to have both a spoken and written report of missions, especially when they were compromised, so Hanzo could at least focus on that for a while.

After that, he would use the rest of his morning to focus on training. One of his favourite things about the watchpoint was how advanced the training simulations could be.  
After years of fighting the same predictable assassins the Shimada-gumi had sent after him, it was safe to say he liked a challenge. Especially one where he didn’t have actually hurt anyone but training bots.

It was after lunch by the time he finished training, he had started off with a workout in the small gym beside the training rooms and moved onto having Athena setting up simulations for him.

He had asked her to put the simulation to the highest level of difficulty and had definitely gotten carried away when he found it to be somewhat difficult, the thrill of the challenge keeping him there a lot longer than he intended.

But the mission had caught up to him and he felt it in every muscle of his body now, as he stood under the firm and warm spray of his tiny en-suite shower.

He normally would have been appalled at the idea of anyone being in bed at 2pm on an average day but his screaming bones were not to be argued with today, god he was getting old…

Crawling into the cooling sheets was pure bliss after the heat of the shower and Hanzo passed out instantly.

Thankfully, he woke up a lot more peacefully this time. Rolling over he found the time to be after midnight and almost scoffed at the fact he had slept almost ten hours.

No one had even woken him for dinner, how rude.

His growling stomach reminded him of this fact as he stood and pulled on a loose pair of dark grey sweat pants over the boxer briefs he had fallen asleep in. He also opted for a maroon hoodie as the chill in the air sent a shiver down his spine.

Setting off down the hall to the kitchen, he found the quiet of the watchpoint to be eerie. Normally the base thrived, Hana was heard almost constantly, laughing loudly with others or yelling at something on one of her gaming streams.

Hanzo knew better to think she was asleep now, more likely playing something less violent. She was probably the only one awake though, the others often retired earlier, most wanting to be well rested in case a mission should arise.

Hanzo shivered again, the combination of chilly air and eerie quiet were not making for a good mixture. He pulled the neck of his hoodie closer and hurried his walk to the kitchen.

In the fridge he found various tubs of leftovers, some seeming to have been there for a while judging by the layer of blue mould coating the tubs.

He found one closer to the front that seemed recent, something resembling chili con carne perhaps? He lifted the tub and found it to still be warm.

Deciding the portion was perfectly sized for him, he didn’t bother with a plate, lifting a clean fork from the drawer and heading back to his room for the promise of warmness.

He passed the open common room door, chili tucked tightly between his elbow and stomach so he could return his hand to the warmth of his pocket when a dim light caught his eye.

By the time his brain had processed the light, he was a few steps past the door and found himself backtracking to peer into the room.

On the sofa he identified a mound of what looked like…blankets? But could not identify the shape within that then shifted and spoke, “Might want some water with that, s’pretty hot,” 

Hanzo made the face out through the dark and met the deep brown of McCree’s eyes as they lit up slightly with the glow from the TV.  
The volume was so low Hanzo couldn’t hear it which explained why he hadn’t even realised someone was up.

He took a step into the room and let his eyes adjust to the darkness.

“McCree? I thought you were sleeping,”

“Not long awake, Angie kept me in the med bay last night, told me I wouldn’t get my arm back if I didn’t stay and let her fix me up,” McCree chuckled and gestured with what should have been his prosthetic as Hanzo realised it was missing and ran his eyes over the nub.

It wasn’t as if it was foreign, he was missing several of his own limbs after all…but McCree’s looked so much…. neater. As if the arm had been deliberately removed just above the elbow.  
His own prosthetics were covered by scars, a mess of flesh and biosynthetic meeting metal.

Hanzo realised he was staring and forced his eyes back up to meet McCree’s again.

“Oh…I had not realised or I would have visited.” Hanzo says the phrase before thinking about it, he hasn’t known McCree that long and he wouldn’t exactly call them friends so why was he offering to visit him in the med bay?

“S’alright…was only for a night.” McCree looks away, a small smile at his lips as if he is touched by Hanzo’s offer.

“Oh?” Hanzo lets a small smile tug at the corners of his own mouth, “And Dr. Ziegler gave you permission to leave?” He has to work hard to hold back a smug smile.

McCree looks back to the dim TV but makes no effort to conceal the grin spreading on his face, “Well…do you see an arm here?” he waved the nub.

“Hmm. Like I thought,”

“Are you gonna stand there and do your best Angie impression or are you gonna at least sit?” McCree works hard to school his expression, nodding slightly at the TV.

Hanzo inched slowly into the room, finding himself suddenly slightly wary to sit and eat with the man. It had been different on missions, he was required to spend time with the man. But sitting down to watch a movie with him? Hanzo wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to breach that territory just yet.

He didn’t have much time to think about it as a tug on his hoodie pulled him into a sitting position beside the gunslinger.

“It’s a classic,” The man provided with a smug smile and gestured to the tv which showed some cowboys not unlike McCree in the middle of a stand-off.

“How can you watch a movie when you cannot hear it?” Hanzo’s hearing was good, better than most peoples, even without the enhancements of his mask he could pick up on most background noise. But even his finely tuned ears couldn’t quite tune into the sound from the television, which must have been on the lowest setting.

“I was mostly thinkin’ before you came in,” McCree’s voice sounds distant, like in the few moments of seconds between them he has slipped back into thought.

“About what?” Hanzo finds himself nervous to ask, he knows the chances of this conversation becoming deep are high and he is sure he hasn’t had nearly enough to drink to go there. “if you don’t mind my asking…”

“Oh…this and that. Ya know how it is,” Hanzo knew exactly how it was, many nights awaiting his targets were spent as deep in thought as the cowboy is now.

“Yes…I do,”

McCree turned to look at him, pulled from his thoughts. “You spent a lotta nights on the run, right?”

“Yes, I suppose you could say that…”

“Did a lot of bad things?” Something raw lay under McCree’s calm voice, like the man on the brink of a breakdown, Hanzo knew exactly why the cowboy was asking the questions he did.

“Yes…I did a lot of things that made it hard to sleep at night,” Hanzo chuckled quietly to himself, if McCree only knew the last time Hanzo had slept properly he might have laughed as well.

“How do you deal with all that? You seem like quite a collected man,” 

“Honestly? Sometimes I don’t…you see the many arguments my brother and I had when I first arrived. I’ll admit, I haven’t been dealing very well with the fact he is alive at all. I spent ten years of my life avenging his death, against the Shimada clan and against myself.  
But I look back at the things I did and know that at one point in my life I thought the things I was doing were the right things to do, I thought I was doing good by my family…”

“And how does that help?” McCree sighed, exasperated at Hanzo’s lack of help.

“Because I look _back _…I no longer believe in the ideas of my family, that proves to me I am a changing man, I have grown and learnt from my mistakes…”__

____

____

“You think I should try that? Do you think that would make me a better man?”

“McCree, I do not know you very well…nor do I know your past, but I know many times I have felt the exact way you are feeling right now. I know it often happens after an injury, even one that was not very severe. It reminds you of the life you have lived…and having lived many of these lives, perhaps I can help.” The gunslinger nodded in agreement, looking slightly less like he would break down any second.

“Think of the worst thing you have ever done, for me, it’s no secret, it’s what I did to my brother. You don’t have to tell me…just think of it.” Hanzo continued, turning himself slightly to properly face the cowboy.

“Now tell me this…would you do it again?” McCree met Hanzo’s gaze and shook his head no.

“Then I already think you a better man…” Hanzo tried to force a reassuring smile. He hadn’t known the man for very long but he recognised the doubts running through the man’s head and it worried him to know someone else was experiencing them.

“Don’t dwell on it too long, nothing good ever comes of it…” Hanzo patted the man’s leg reassuringly and rose, allowing the man some space to think over his words.

“Hey Hanzo…?” Jesse’s voice stopped him as he reached the door and he turned, a somewhat small smile on his lips. “Thank you…and if you ever feel like talkin’…well, I’m here,”

He nodded his thanks and left, the smile still tugging at the corner of his mouth all the way to his room.

**

Hanzo found himself seeking out the cowboy the next day after noticing his spot empty at dinner. He took a deep breath before knocking on the man’s door and taking a small step back. He probably could have asked Athena to let McCree know he was here but knocking seemed more polite.

The door before slid open and the cowboy’s face seemed to light up before he quickly schooled his expression into a small, polite smile.

“Hanzo, what can I do for ya?” Hanzo tried his best to keep his eyes fixed on the cowboy’s own but found it difficult as the man before currently wore a pair of sweat pants and not much else.

It took Hanzo a second before he spoke, “I found this in the cave, thought you may like it back, as ridiculous as it is…” Hanzo held up the cowboy’s beloved six-shooter by the barrel and pressed the handle into McCree’s hand, wanting rid of it as quickly as possible.

“Aw shucks, I thought I’d lost it!” The man seemed delighted and Hanzo felt the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes, “Thank you kindly darlin’,” Hanzo gave in and rolled his eyes at the use of the pet name.

Hanzo nodded once before turning to leave.

“Hey, wait,” Hanzo spun back almost too quickly, curious to what the man had to say, “How was the chili?”

“It was good. You made it?”

“Yeah, ol’ family recipe. Glad you liked it…uh, you wanna come in?” McCree asked, taking a small step back to gesture into the room.

When Hanzo first arrived, he would have been appalled at the idea of going into the annoying man’s room, but he found himself curious and before he had realised, he was stepping forward and following McCree inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading as always! x


End file.
